雛祭

Every year, on March third, Japan celebrates Hinamatsuri. In English we call it either Girl's Day or Japan Doll Festival; the kanji in the title means "doll festival". The tradition of Girl's Day began in the Heian period of Japanese history, which ran from 794 to 1185 AD. It was believed during this time that dolls had the power to posses bad spirits and so a custom developed called hina-nagashi, translated as "doll floating", in which the dolls would be put in a small boat and floated down the river to the sea, taking the bad spirits with them.

Today, it is a day to celebrate girls and young women. As they grow up, girls collect the dolls as gifts, and show them off on a red, terraced display in the days leading up to March 3rd. The top two dolls are the Emperor and Empress and then the court is below them. You can see examples in the pictures below. Kimonos are worn and special sweets and sushi are eaten, with a special white sake to drink. There is a superstition that if the dolls are left up too long after March 3rd, the longer it will be before the girl gets married, and the faster they are taken down the faster the girl will get married!

The Emperor and Empress; the woman on the tier below are court ladies

Laura, Morgan, and I had the great luck to be invited to a Girl's Day celebration that the ladies of the YWCA were throwing for international college students at Kumamoto's Cultural Center. Sadly, Morgan was unable to attend. I was attending Oe Church that morning and rushed to meet up with Laura before walking downtown. We were greeted cheerfully by the women of the YWCA and by our beloved Tawara-san. Tawara-san is part of the J-3 care committee here in Kumamoto and she and her husband are active in the church community. She has helped us so much since we arrived.

Laura and I were herded into the next room, which held a flurry of activity! So many young foreign women being besieged by Japanese matrons, throwing themselves into the task of getting us all into kimono. Do you know the scene in the Disney movie Mulan when she's getting dressed to go to the matchmaker, and she is just standing on the stool with her arms out, while her mother and grandmother run around her, and silk is flying everywhere? That's basically it, only kimono and I didn't have a stool to stand on.

Dressing in a kimono is no joke. It takes a long time, and all you can do is stand there with your arms out as you are dressed in multiple layers, and the layers of your obi (the piece around the middle) are tightened repeatedly. Often when they would pull to tighten it, they would pull so hard I would stumble forward as my heels lifted off the ground! This was often followed by laughter and checking repeatedly to make sure I was okay. I would take an obi over a corset in a heartbeat, but it is pretty darn tight and limits your movement immensely.

Tawara-san helped Laura and I pick out which kimono we wanted to wear, and then it was off to hair and makeup! Hair is worn up when you wear a kimono, so I had come prepared, but other girls were sitting there having their hair pulled up in beautiful arrangements, complete with large flower pins. After that, we waited some more before being ambushed ourselves!

I love wearing kimono. I feel more like a princess in a kimono than I did in any prom or bridesmaid dress. It is so elegant, so regal, so stately. Kimono just makes you feel beautiful. Happily, Laura caught some pictures of the ladies putting the finishing touches on my obi.

After we dressed, we moved back out into the hall to join the other ladies. There were some young gentlemen in attendance and they looked very dashing in the traditional men's kimono. We had a short tea ceremony and then we headed outside to get our pictures taken. It was funny to see the expressions of the Kumamoto citizens walking by, as all these foreigners in kimono came out of the center.

Walking in kimono is tricky. One of our new friends, Maria, put it this way "Walk like a bear, with your feet pointed in as you take a step forward. The kimono is a cylinder so you have to walk more circularly". This means no striding forward and you shuffle more than you actually pick your feet up. I'm sure I looked pretty funny as I tried to move like I usually do; it simply was not working and I am not good at the whole small, graceful steps thing.

We finished our pictures and got to know some new friends before listening to a young man from China play Japanese folk songs on a traditional two stringed Chinese instrument. It was a beautiful sound! When he finished (and we encored) it was time to learn traditional Japanese dance. Sadly I have no pictures. You will have to trust me when I tell you that it was highly entertaining. I am not a good dancer and there was Laura, counting off and doing wonderfully. I can say with pride that I got it by the end, although I had accidentally thrown my baton (yes, we were dancing with batons) and hit the girl in front of me. She was very gracious about it though!

Then, sadly, the magic was over, and it was time to change back into my American street clothes. I was back to myself, but have the pictures to prove, for one afternoon, I was someone else entirely.

One last scene from Girl's Day; one of my favorite moments that day. As we were headed out to dinner after the international church service we passed a young girl, probably about five or six, in a bright red kimono. She had what looked like her dad's black scarf, bulky around her neck, and she was rubbing her eyes with one hand while holding onto her mother with her other. They were waving goodbye to a woman that I can only assume was her grandmother, also in kimono, as she climbed into a taxi. It was a quick snapshot in time of three generations of Japanese women, all in beautiful kimono. Happy Hinamatsuri everyone! 

What Culture Shock Means to Me

I woke up yesterday in tears. I had just had a dream. It was a simple dream really. Mom, Claire, Anna, and I were in the kitchen of the house I grew up in. We were around the island counter baking chocolate chip cookies. Dad came home and insisted on "testing the quality" as is his dad duty. I don't even remember what the discussion in the dream was, because it was simple, day to day conversation. And then I woke up alone in my apartment, 6,552.8 miles away from that kitchen and the family I love so very much.

Dictionary.com describes culture shock as, "a state of bewilderment and distress experienced by an individual who is suddenly exposed to a new, strange, or foreign social and cultural environment." We were told in orientation that culture shock would set in about month three, then we would get over it for a time, before it would return in month six. For this reason the Global Missions at the ELCA strongly recommends that we stay in Japan for our first full year, without returning to the United States, in order to overcome this hurdle. Of course, like most mental stresses, culture shock affects everyone differently. That is never more evident than when Morgan, Laura, and I are sitting around at say dinner or a coffee shop and discussing our thoughts on the matter. I won't betray their confidence in detailing their reactions, but I will detail mine below.

Before I begin I should insert a disclaimer. I love Japan. I am having so much fun and every day is a new adventure. I have discovered wonderful friends, fabulous food, and an incredible culture and history here. However, culture shock affects everyone thrown into drastically different situations, whether you move from the country to the city, or across the world. I now have an incredible empathy for those moving to the United States for the first time. How overwhelming it all must be!

So to begin....

What Culture Shock Means to Me:

• vIt means incredible and gut wrenching homesickness. For anything and everything about home, but most importantly a desperate desire to be hugged by my family.
• v  It means immediately looking around whenever I hear someone speaking English.
• v  It means constantly watching all the people around me to discover what I am supposed to be doing, whether I am at the dressing room in the mall (do you take off your shoes or don't you?), or at a tea ceremony.
• v  It means I would kill for a steak and mashed potatoes.
• v  It means looking forward to being crazy busy once we start teaching so that I will have less time to stew about things.
• v  It means being incredibly self conscious about what I look like when I leave the apartment because I know I stand out in a crowd.
• v  It means that in order to be polite, I have to do things that in Nebraska would be rude. Like not making eye contact and saying hello to random people that I meet, in say, the elevator. This isn't always true of course, and I have had several strangers strike up conversation, but in general I try to respect that space.
• v  It also means struggling to be polite in general. I say "thank you" and "excuse me" a great deal, because there are different ways to say "Please" and "I'm sorry" and I'm not always sure which is which.
• v  It means that I can get Mexican food, Chinese food, and Italian food, but it is Japanese Mexican food, Japanese Chinese food, and Japanese Italian food. The thought of American Mexican food, American Chinese food, and American Italian food makes me drool.
• v  It means asking that God explain why He decided to send me to a foreign country where I do not speak the language.
• v  It means going to karaoke and belting out all my favorite English songs listed, while dancing around like a madwoman.
• v  It means putting on my headphones and running till my legs wobble.
• v  It means that some days I really don't want to leave my apartment because it's my own personal 25.29 meters of American soil. Like the Embassy. Only smaller.
• v  It means yelling about why Japanese is so insanely hard to learn and then sighing when I realize that my students feel exactly the same about English.
• v  It means wondering why I am here and what I can possibly bring to the table.
• v  It means asking questions. Lots and lots and lots of questions.
• v  It means spending too much money at the import store for American Doritos.
• v  It means going to McDonald's a lot. Not because I really want McDonald's, but because I am guaranteed that a double cheeseburger and fries here is EXACTLY the same as a double cheeseburger and fries in Omaha. Ditto Starbucks. And Baskin Robbins. Obviously not the healthiest of choices, but homesickness doesn't really care.
• v  It means, if you haven't noticed yet, that food and culture shock go hand in hand for me.
• v  It means learning how to use a squat toilet.
• v  It means breaking every fashion rule I have ever been taught because I have to wear slippers in school. With my suit on some occasions. Haven't gotten over that one yet. Luckily, I am not alone.
• v  It means working up the courage to ask a question in Japanese only to be bewildered by an answer that cannot be understood.
• v  It means learning that care packages should only ever be opened when Skyping with those who sent it to you. Otherwise you are crying alone in your apartment as you simultaneously jump for joy that someone sent you Kraft Mac and Cheese and your Gilmore Girls DVDs.
• v  And most importantly of all, it means learning how to laugh at myself and how to forgive myself. Being in a new culture demands that you will make mistakes. In Japan, they have what they call the Gaijin pass. Gaijin means foreigner, and this basically means that you are not Japanese so you are not expected to understand everything. Obviously you should try, and try hard, but it is important to remember at all times that mistakes will be made. In these instances you must pull yourself up, dust yourself off, laugh at yourself, forgive yourself, and move on.
  

Like I said before, culture shock affects everyone in a variety of ways. The severity is different for everyone too. There are a couple things that have helped me stay afloat during all this. The first is prayer. No matter how alone I am, God is always right next to me. All I have to do is tune into His presence. After many an embarrassing or funny moment that I have experienced while on my own, I will find myself telling God about it, "Did you see that?" or "Come on, now. Why didn't you stop me!" and laughter ensues. Or sometimes to remark on the beauty of his creation here. Or to laugh about the antics of a small child and how they are the same as back home. He is like my adventure captain and commander and He never leaves my side, for which I am intensely thankful. He lets me forge on ahead and make my own choices and mistakes, but He doesn't judge, He just waits for me to glance over at Him and ask His advice and assistance.

Second, is the gift of Skype and Facetime, for which I will be always thankful to the inventor of video calling. I Skype home often, whether to family or friends, and 

it is a great blessing to be able to see home and chat with them for free. I think I could have survived without Skype or the iPhone, but technology does make it easier.

Third are the marvelous friends I have here. We have been made so welcome, that when we are out and about with friends it is impossible to feel disheartened. The international service is part of this, and being able to worship in English is a blessing as well.

This isn't an easy stage in the adventure, but I think I am holding myself together as well as I can. There is no guidebook for this thing I am doing. Sometimes I really wish God would talk to me directly. Maybe not through a burning bush, I think that would really freak me out, but a text or phone call would be nice. Or He could stick a map in the mail with detailed English instructions for how to get through the next two years. However, as much as I wish He would, I am just as grateful that He does not. Because, let's face it, if I knew exactly what to do and when to do it, then there wouldn't really be any adventure, would there?

The First Chapel Speech

On Monday, I gave my first ever chapel speech at Kyushu Gakuin. It wasn't how I imagined chapel speeches would be, but that isn't a bad thing. For one, I wasn't in a chapel. Kyushu Gakuin has chapel every morning, with English chapel on Mondays, but since all the students cannot fit inside the chapel at one time, they take turns and the rest of the students remain in their classes. This means that the hymns, message, and prayers are done over the intercom system. So, instead of standing before pews of students, I looked out over the track and field while speaking into a microphone from the recording room in the teacher's office.

I was very nervous about my first chapel message. I have never talked to a big group of people about God and my faith, and certainly not a large group of people for whom English was not their first language and who, for the majority, are unfamiliar with Christianity. However, as I was working, or rather supposed to be working on my Japanese, I believe in reality I was watching a Japanese drama, the topic of my message was suddenly there.

I had been feeling rather stressed. Japanese lessons, I felt, weren't going as well as I would like, and I was struggling with homesickness and culture shock. I still am to be honest. I was sick for about three weeks running, first with a virus and then the dreaded flu. It had kept me cooped up in my apartment for far too long. I was back in the swing of things, but that was difficult as well.

It struck me that the students at Kyushu Gakuin were probably pretty stressed out as well, though for entirely different reasons. It is testing season for the third year junior highers and for the third year high schoolers. You have to test to get into your chosen high school in Japan and, like in America, you test to get into college. However, the college tests here are quite a bit more extensive. As for the rest of the students, those not testing for life changing events, they were approaching the end of the school year and the start of a new one, which can be stressful in itself.

So, with that in mind I sat down to hammer out my speech. I had been told to have it run no more than three minutes. Then I would submit it for translation and present it on Monday, February 25th, with Kyushu Gakuin's chaplain giving the translation. It was a bit of a struggle to write it in simple English and fit my thoughts onto one page, but below is the final result. I have no idea about the impact of my speech. I doubt I will ever know how my speeches are received, especially as I am not looking at my audience while I give them. I can only hope that God spoke to my students through me that morning and that my words gave some comfort or support if it was needed.

Chapel Speech - February 25, 2013

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

- John 16:33

I've been feeling stressed out. Do you know the feeling? You aren't sure what you are doing, or how you are going to do it, so you just keep moving forward hoping it will all work out? That's how I have been feeling recently. Stressed. I think lots of people feel stressed.

When I get to feeling too stressed or troubled, I like to go for a run. I like running. I run alone and my whole world becomes my feet hitting the pavement one after the other and my breath moving in and out. Running isn't always easy, but it is simple. One step in front of the other; breath in, breath out.

I often wish that other aspects of my life were as simple as my run, but they aren't. They are troublesome and often complicated and no matter how hard, fast, or far I run, I just can't find the answers to my troubles. I bet you know what I mean. Maybe you don't go running. Maybe you like to listen to music, write, play other sports, or just sit quietly when you are stressed. I also bet that you don't always find the answers to your troubles when you do those things. So where do we get the answers to our troubles? How can we feel at peace in our busy, complicated world?

It is important when things seem too overwhelming to remember that you do not have to face this world alone. God tells us to turn to Him and He will grant us peace. Yes, this life is complicated and it does have its troubles. Yes, we are often stressed, and worried, and wonder what the answers are, what the right decisions might be. God tells us to bring it all to Him in prayer. That doesn't mean you have to run to the nearest church, kneel at the altar, clasp your hands, and close your eyes. He's happy when you just talk to Him, when you let it all out, and tell Him all your worries and fears. You are not alone. God is right there next to you, ready to help you, to relieve your burden. He never leaves you. There is no power on Earth that can take Him away, or make Him care for you less. He loves you and wants to relieve your fears. So next time you are feeling stressed, pray to God.  I know I will. And then I'll lace up my running shoes because that run is a gift of peace from God.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please remind us that you are with us, even in our darkest times, when we are scared and feel alone. Remind us that you are there, waiting for us to turn to you for help. Thank you for your endless support and love.

Amen