In Which Your’s Truly Defeats the Biggest Cockroach She Has Ever Seen and Then Writes a Chapel Speech

Caution: Only proceed if you can handle bugs. You have been warned.

Last Tuesday I was just sitting quietly in my apartment working on my computer when, suddenly, the biggest cockroach I have EVER seen FLEW OVER MY HEAD and landed on the wall IN FRONT OF MY FACE. It was easily the length of my index finger and IT WAS FLYING!!!!! I did what any red blooded woman (or many men for that matter) would do under the circumstances. I screamed (there were many obscenities in several languages and several made up) and ran out of my apartment. I pounded on Morgan’s door across the hall. No answer. I fled downstairs and pounded on Laura’s. And rang the door bell. And pounded some more. Finally she answered, and then she didn't even believe me! She thought I was overreacting and that cockroaches don’t fly so I must have just seen one of these big dragonfly things we have around here… until she walked into my apartment. She saw it fly, screamed and ran to join me in the hallway where our battle strategy went something like this:

“OH *%$#F@$^*%#@#^*&%$##%^&*^$#@@$^*!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!”

I decided that Morgan was probably more BA than I was and I knew she was home cause her umbrella was there and it had been raining all day and at that point I didn't care what she was doing WE NEEDED HER! Like Uncle Sam needs you, only it was Caroline, and not a country but an apartment, and not a war with Germany, but a cockroach… you get the picture. I was just about to pound on her door some more when she opened it having heard all of the cursing and screaming going on outside. She had had her headphones in when I pounded the first time around.

By this time we had the door to my apartment propped open and the roach was in the entryway. It was between me and my roach spray so Laura ran down to get her’s while Morgan grabbed an… umbrella? I wound up ALONE against the stupid thing and it consisted of me doing sneak attacks, wherein I would run in spray the sucker, and run away. IT WOULD NOT DIE!!!

Laura and Morgan refused to enter the premises and just stood out in the hallway, holding open umbrellas in case it decided to fly at them and yelling encouragement at me.

“You’re a brave woman Caroline!” and “JUST STEP ON IT ALREADY!”

I grabbed my cheap, knockoff, purple, men’s croc off the floor and went in. I corned it in my toilet room and blasted it continually with the roach spray until finally it fell to the floor where it lay twitching madly, while I ran back out coughing up a lung from all the roach poison I had just inhaled. I then ran back in and stepped on it repeatedly because, as above mentioned, it refused to die. Once it stopped twitching, I couldn’t even pick it up with toilet paper it was so big. I got a broom and dustpan and flushed it down the toilet. Silence descended on the scene.

For about two seconds. Afterwards I was laughing pretty darn hard, but also terrified that there were more. Morgan’s response to my fear? “Don’t worry, God wouldn’t be that mean.”

Which prompted the question: “Why did God make cockroaches?”

Which prompted the following chapel speech natch!

Really, God?!

“And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind: cattle and creeping things and wild animals of the earth of every kind.’ And it was so. God made the wild animals of the earth of every kind and everything that creeps upon the ground of every kind. And God saw that it was good.”  - Genesis 1:24-25

          Last week I had a flying cockroach in my apartment. It was easily the biggest cockroach I have ever seen. I did what I believe most people would do under the circumstances. I screamed and ran out of my apartment. I live in a building with two other missionaries. I pounded on both their doors and they came to help me kill it. As soon as they saw it, they ran out of my apartment, and proceeded to simply cheer me on while holding open umbrellas should the roach fly towards them. It took half a can of roach spray, a broom, and stepping on it multiple times before it died. I was afraid that there would be more and my friend replied, “Don’t worry. God wouldn't be that mean.” This prompted the question, “Why did God make cockroaches?”

Genesis tells us that God is the creator of all things, and there are things far worse, and just as seemingly pointless, in the world than cockroaches. Why are there massive tornados  Why are there earthquakes, tsunamis, and hurricanes? Why are there diseases that kill and not enough medicine to cure? We don’t have the answers, of course. All we have is faith. Faith, by definition, is believing in something with no proof. We must have faith that all bad things have a purpose in life. Perhaps it is to bring people together. Or perhaps it is to remind us of the awesome power of God. Whatever the reason, we must have faith that it is according to plan. As for the cockroach, who knows? Maybe someday, someone will discover it holds the cure for some horrific disease. Until then, I thank God for the laugh I had with my friends, and pray that He keeps all other roaches away from my apartment.

Heavenly Father,

You are the creator of all things and we thank you for it. You have created a world for us, and while it has things we fear, it is also a splendid world full of beauty and life. Thank you. Amen.